fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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