Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
