i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The air was thick with penises
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
