There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
