yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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