You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
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I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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