Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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