ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
