New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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