3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
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