Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
