haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
