My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
