We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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