I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize