I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
