I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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