just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
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I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
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I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Can you repeat that, but with context?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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