Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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