Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
