What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?