I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"