State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
