Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
