I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's no shave November. This is our time.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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