the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
