pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
