Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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