Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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