google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
