Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
