My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
