My brain says no but my pants say off.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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