My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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