you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
