Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
