im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I wear drunk well.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
