Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
