she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
