I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
