I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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