Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
