Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
