Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
