Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
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I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize