a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
