why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
