didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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