i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
