marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
