sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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