I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize