Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
