youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
