Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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