my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
