I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
