Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
